सवाल

बड़ी शिद्दत से चाहेंगे तुझे
ऐसा सोचा था कभी
तेरी खुद की चाहत को कैसे दरकिनार कर दें
बस ये सवाल है अभी

सवाल ये नहीं कि
क्या सोचूं मैं तुम्हारे बारे में
सवाल ये है कि
तुम क्या सोचती हो किसी और के बारे में

सवाल ये नहीं कि
क्या रिश्ता है मेरा तुम्हारा
सवाल ये है कि
क्या रिश्ता तुम्हे किसी और से है बनाना

सवाल ये नहीं कि
क्या कीमत है तुम्हारे साथ की मेरे लिए
सवाल ये है कि
किसका साथ बेशकीमती है तुम्हारे लिए

सवाल ये नहीं कि
क्या कुछ पूरी करेगा ख्वाइशें मेरी
सवाल ये है कि
किस बात में है छुपी खुशियां तेरी

सवालों का सिलसिला
तो चलता रहेगा यूं ही
जवाब देना चाहती हो या नहीं
बस यही सवाल है आख़री

Walk all over me

यूँ तो कभी बात न करना
लेकिन जब जी चाहे पास बुला कर
अपने से दरकिनार कर भी देना

यूँ तो तुम्हारी जरूरतों का हिसाब नहीं
लेकिन जो रजामंदी हुई है हमारी
उन्हें जब जी चाहे भुला भी देना

यूँ तो अपनेपन का एहसास भी अधूरा है
लेकिन जब कोई ज्यादा सगा मिल जाये
ग़ैरों से भी बद्तर सिला भी दे देना

यूँ तो छोड़ गए है कई अपना कहने वाले
जब नए बने अपनों की महफ़िल में हो
पहचानने से भी इंकार कर देना

यूँ तो पत्थर दिल हो चुका है मेरा
लेकिन संभाल के गुजरना मेरे सीने पे चड़ कर
टूटे दिल के कई बारीक़ टुकड़े अभी भी छुपे हुए हैं कहीं

Materialistic Love

A lot has been said about how it's not advisable to love materialistic, inanimate stuffs in your life - watch, phone, camera, car, house, etc. The idea behind the notion being, love is about feelings, being there for one another, caring for each other, something which the inanimate materials are incapable of. 

And because of this very same reason, I would say one should love these materialistic things instead of people. Why?

These materialistic stuff are the ones who (which) don't expect anything in return (only living beings capable of the same emotion are dogs). You love these materials, beg/buy/steal them, bring them into your life, use them, love them even more. With every passing day, your love (-hate) relation with these materials increases manifold, forming a strong bond, a strong connection, something which is supposed to form between living beings.

And one fine day, sometimes out of blue, you need to find a new material to love - either they break down, or stop working, or become faulty, or become too expensive to maintain-n-repair or simply get outdated. The underlying thing is that a time comes where you need to move-on to another material. You're disappointed, disheartened, simply unhappy over the whole idea of moving-on to a new one.

Irrespective of how you feel, the end result is that you do move on. To a new watch, a new mobile, a new camera, a new car, a new dwelling. What makes this moving-on possible? Maybe the fact that you did know you'd face this day, when you'll be forced to move-on, to find a new love, a new shiny material to care for. And it's possible because a voice from somewhere deep within tells you that this is the basic nature of materials, that's how they are supposed to behave. They're supposed to come into your life, find a meaning, be there when you need them for your usage, live their serviceable life, and one fine day stop being useful, stop being relevant, stop being meaningful, stop being part of your life.

Can we feel the same about fellow humans? 

Dear Girls

Dear Girls, 

You come across a failure, a broken person and you fall in love with him. 

You have this strong desire to help him, to mend him, to fix him. 

You do it once, you do it twice and think you will love to do this rest of your life. 

You express your desire and leave no stone unturned until he gives into your idea to correct himself, reform himself. 

If your story sounds similar to above even slightly, just stop it then and there. 

The guy, whom you think needs a fix, has been this way for years together. 

What you see as failure is the manner in which he wins his ways, a perspective he himself doesn't have a clue of. 

What you see as a broken is the way he has accustomed himself to the big-bad-world out there in open. He has his issues, shortcomings, but those are not embedded deep inside him. 

No matter what you plan to do, you can't change him. You can't fix him. Leave him the way he is. 

Because if you still insist to do what you were planning to do for so long, this is gonna happen - 

He may show signs of improvement initially, but deep inside, he's the same broken person you wanted to fix. Time and again, you'll see his broken side, and feel frustrated over the failure of yours to fix him. 

Still you'll love to give it a try. For the sake of love. For the sake of humanity. 

The guy will see your efforts, will try to make amends in his behaviour, his thinking process, so that he gets fixed, be worthy of you. But as the change process goes, he will still be back to his broken ways, especially at times of despair. 

On the other hand, you'll ignore the efforts he is putting in, and remember, count actually, how many times he went back to his broken ways and made you a failure. But still, you'll be there for him. 

Until one fine day, you decide that it has been enough and you can't take it anymore. You can't take his shit anymore and you need to draw a line. You want to get over your black past. 

What you never bother to care about is the guy you leave behind. Someone who is broken as per your terminology is now devastated. He was still in the middle of change process when you decided to leave. 

He is at a point of no return now, where the only way to go ahead is towards more failure, more trust issues. 

While you go ahead and enjoy your life, which gets awesome day by day, the guy is left is stuck behind, in middle of no where. 

Kabhi...

तेरी हंसी में भी दर्द सुनाई देता है कभी, 

तेरी मुस्कराहट में भी ग़म दिखाई देता है कभी. 

तेरी अनकही बातें भी सुनाई देतीं है कभी, 

तुझ में दौड़ती सिरहन भी महसूस होती है कभी.

हो सके तो दर्द बाँट लेना कभी, 

हो सके तो ग़म भुला देना कभी. 

जो दिल में है जुबां पे भी ले आना कभी, 

दिल के जज्बातों को ज़ाहिर भी कर देना कभी. 

Teri hasiN mein bhi dard sunai deta hai kabhi, 

Teri muskarahat mein bhi gam dikhai deta hai kabhi. 

Teri ankahi batein bhi sunai detiN hai kabhi. 

Tujh mein daudti sirhan bhi mehsoos hoti hai kabhi. 

Ho sake to dard baant lena kabhi, 

Ho sake to gam bhula dena kabhi. 

Jo dil mein hai jubaaN pe bhi le aana kabhi, 

Dil ke jajbaton ko zahir kar dena kabhi.

.

Murder

जिस मर्ज की दवा मिलती थी तुझसे कभी 

उस मर्ज की लाश लिए फिरते है हम अभी

तमन्ना मेरी तो खुद घुट घुट के मर गयी

अपनी तमन्ना को मरने ना देना कभी 

मिलेंगे हैवान मुझ जैसे हर कहीं 

खुद के इंसान को मारना ना कभी

बस वक़्त का खेल हम हार गए ये सदी

फ़रिश्ते तो हम भी होते थे कभी 

Where'd You Go?

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, and I'm plannin' to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...