Hypocrisy and me

Hypocrisy:

▶ n

1. insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs

that you do not really have

2. lip service - an expression of agreement that is not supported by

real conviction

All this while I considered myself not being a hypocrite, someone who hates hypocrisy, in any form whatsoever.

But lately I've realized that I myself belong to this clan.

I have talked about being with your loved ones, no matter what. But I myself generally end up being the first one to leave them in high seas.

I talk about being the loser who would fight even for lost causes. But my last few actions say otherwise. I always end up getting a reason to call it quit; latest one being '.. its not worth it.'

All these have made me think whether I'm really the one who I think I'm or what people say about me is true: mean, selfish, egoistic, thankless, and God knows what all. The more I analyze, the bigger hypocrite I find myself to be; which actually makes me hate myself. Hating myself makes me part of general population, because hate is the feeling people generally relate me to.

But since I can't be amongst common man, I should love myself.

See, that is exactly I was talking about: hypocrisy.

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There's nothing in this universe that can't be explained. Eventually.